Our Bigfoot...Or You Know, Sex.

Yes, it's that mystical idea that is constantly spoken of in just about every cultural medium, yet only fleetingly appears in my marriage.  Like the yetti, Loch Ness and Bigfoot, there is much debate as to whether it really exists.  I vaguely remember something about it from a past life, but now...alive and in MY bedroom...iiiiiiittttt's SSSSEEEEXXX!!

Yup, I had sex with my husband last week.  Yes, just once last week and not since then, but that was the first time in well over a year with more than a year and a half before that.  And you gals would be so proud of me!  I am the one that hunted down the practice and forced it upon my unsuspecting captive.

See, Savannah has been getting on to me lately about not sleeping with my husband.  Things are going so well with Patrick and me and there is so much goodwill that it seemed silly not to...I just didn't wanna.  But she told me to suck it up and get it done because he would have a hard time staying away from the bad stuff if he got no relief.  However, as a parent it is really hard to find time for sex.  After Cade's bedtime I am so tired that there is no way, and so is Patrick.  Sooooo, I waited until he came home for his dinner break from work and I jumped him while Cade was watching cartoons in the living room.

I lured Patrick into the bedroom, pushed him on the bed and undressed him.  You know how it usually goes from there, I'm sure.

Annnnndddd...it was nice.  Nice, right?  Not the right word for sex.  But that's what it was.  It felt good, but again...no connection between us.  We enjoyed the activity (although we were interrupted by Cade banging on the door demanding to be let in while I yelled to him that we were planning a surprise for him).  Patrick wasn't able to finish which puts an asterisk next to the performance for me.  I don't count it as successful.  Granted, he only had a brief time at home, had to go back to work, worried about Cade, not to mention it just being odd that we were naked together.  All of those things make it understandable that it was hard (well...difficult anyway) to get things done.

The final outcome of our adventure was a decision to do it more often.  Also, I'm out $40 because I had to make up a surprise for Cade and the only thing I could think of quickly was a DS game. Part of me now wants to sit back and wait for him to instigate because it always hurts a little (no matter how many times I tell myself it is not my fault that he doesn't finish).  But those games only hurt us in the past and got us to where we are today.  All of this mystery and bitterness surrounding sex in our marriage has been impossible to overcome.  Since we are starting with a clean slate, I think that I will just be 100% honest with him.  I'm going to instigate again this weekend and see how it goes.  I will wait for a more appropriate time so that there will be no interruptions.  If he is still not completely satisfied, we will then have a discussion about what may be the causes.  Or I could just slip one of my Viagra into his Dr. Pepper and see what I get!

Not Quite

I may have spoken too soon.  Just when I thought things were evening out at the office and I would have a little more time on my hands again the rug was pulled out from under our company and in a matter of two days we went from on top of the world to layoffs.  It sucks.  I hate to see people go when you know their financial and personal situations and nobody can really afford to be without work in this economy.  

Here in West Texas we have been lucky in that the recession only recently really started hitting us on all levels.  As gas went down (yea you all, boo for us) the oil & gas companies started layoffs but the rest of the market remained steady.  Gas is now going back up (yea for us, boo for you all) and we are starting to ease out of the panic that hit.  We are by no means safe or functioning regularly.  I am in the construction industry and we were working in public construction (i.e. county, state, city).  Just yesterday our bonding was pulled which means we can no longer accept those jobs.  We were just awarded a small job ($525k) that we will now have to pull out of and pay them $30k for their troubles, and all other jobs we were going for (which were flush due to the stimulus bill) are now kaput.  That immediately changed the trajectory of our company.

So, since I am accounting I am pouring over the numbers, budget, etc. looking for ways to cut costs and get us back on top.  Good times as you can all imagine.

I am so sorry that I'm not able to really blog like I would like, but thank you guys for checking back in.  I imagine I will get down to the real business of updating you on my life sometime this week.  Not even mildly intriguing is it? 

There Is Hope

Things are calming down at work and we all seemed to realize that we simply cannot be productive a full eight hours out of the work day.  I think that I will begin to go out on a ledge and maybe blog a little during my day.  I have missed the blogosphere!  I have missed reading up on everyone's blogs!  I do have a computer at home (though the laptop is now kaput), but by the end of the day, after getting everyone fed (because yeah, I'm cooking) and getting Cade to bed, and making lunches for the next day, and getting all the clothes ironed and laid out, I am knocked out.  The last thing I want to do is sit in front of the computer.  I have been falling into bed exhausted.

But, just a tease...I had sex!  And it was good.  And I'm gonna do it again.  And I'll tell you all more about it from work tomorrow. : ) I will just say that I am rejuvenated and feel like I am producing on a higher level than I have for years in my life.  I am genuinely happy and genuinely in love with my husband.

Now, forgive me for not editing this post.  If there are a multitude of grammatical errors blame it on severe fatigue and try to forgive me.  I will not make a habit of it.  

I've missed you all!