Contentment

Contentment - A Foreign Concept Until Now

Wow!  What an amazing week! I started full-time work this week and I haven't worked a 40 hour work week in over a year and a half.  I was really worried about how my body would handle it, but my darling husband has been so great this week.  He has let me take naps every evening while he cooks, does homework with Cade and generally mans the homefront.  I'll tell you something, I am feeling pretty lucky right now to have such a wonderful man.  It's amazing how a little time can change things.

As for Cade (who was seriously on my last nerve and about to get shipped off to boarding school for 1st graders) he was wonderful this week as well!  He got into trouble at school on Monday and that night was no fun at home.  But I asked Wendie for some advice and we started implementing some things around the house and WOW!  On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights, Cade actually asked US if he could go to bed.  He proceeded to fall asleep in a matter of minutes after laying down with no fussing whatsoever.  For some of you parents, that might not seem like the modern day miracle that it really is.  But seriously, since the day of his birth all those years ago, he has gone to sleep without a fight maybe a handful of times.  He is hyperactive, and with that comes a lack of need for sleep like most children have.  He can operate fully well on six hours of sleep and has been that way for as long as I can remember.  It's one of those cruel jokes that the world plays on us, considering I could sleep for 14 hours and still not feel rested.  Naturally, my first concern was that he was still sick.  It was completely uncharacteristic.  But I've kept a close eye on him and he seems fine.  He is agreeable, considerate and independent...and it's niiiiice.

For the first time that I can remember I am going into a weekend with a family of which I am really happy to be a part.  This is completely new for me.  I have been discontent for so long that I hadn't realized what a weight it was on me.  And you know, it comes easy now to do things for my husband.  I love him, I like him, and what's more...I respect him.  Things are good.  Do I still wig out if he doesn't listen closely enough or seem concerned about what I am saying to him at the time?  Yes.  But now the first thought doesn't instantly go towards leaving him.  Now, I just think about how much work the next fifty years of our lives are going to be - and I am glad to be a part of it.  I want to work to keep this family together.

Mind you, there still has been no sex.  I am really stuck where that is concerned.  I don't know when or how we are going to start attacking that aspect, but for his sake, I hope it's soon.